The missing link between the money you deserve and the money you receive is… YOU.
You have to be willing to ask for it.
When I first launched Free Your Star Foundation, I was so timid to ask for money that I gave away three months of me away for free — a $7,000 discount!
When you come from a Persian single mom, asking for anything is foreign transaction. It was not in my vocabulary to ask for money and my down deep inner value was around $15 an hour.
The first Fashion Show Productions program I headed was a complete success! We raised enough money to buy design software for the student body. I was asked to return for a second semester.
I had cornered myself into a tough corner. Not only did I have to ask for money, I also had to change my clients’ expectation of me doing this service for free.
I almost walked away thinking it would be easier to find a new school to pitch to, but I couldn’t walk away from the relationships I had built with the students. So, I practiced.
- I wrote out what value I was bringing to the table.
- I wrote out several sentences that asked for money.
- Then I spoke those sentences out loud, sometimes calling my mom or best friend to practice my logic.
Not only did I get paid for the following semester, I was hired for two additional semesters and earned even more money. Although my eye contact was a little scattered and my voice slightly quiet, I spoke up and, every time, it got easier — and my paychecks got bigger.
Here are two ways you can find your voice with money, let’s give it a K.I.S.S. and start small:
1. At the cash register, keep an eye and speak up about something that was marked on sale. I don’t care if you’re saving .07 cents.
2. It may help to reframe money in a more emotionally neutral way, like energy. You are offering your gift of whatever and they are offering you their energy source, called money.
For the babies…
To help your kiddos avoid using the same money vocabulary, start a conversation with them about what their chores, grades or other contributions to your home are worth. Help them find value in the time and energy they put in, and give them the vocabulary to be able to ask for money confidently.
Please comment and share your successes and funny failures with money. We can all learn from each other!